This too shall pass: leren loslaten in 'onzekere tijden'.

‘Het zijn rare tijden’, een zin die we ongetwijfeld allemaal al wel meerdere keren hebben horen passeren de laatste weken. We gaan wandelen en doen een kort babbeltje met iemand, en zoals we normaal over de koetjes en de kalfjes zouden praten, praten we nu allemaal over de ‘rare tijden’ en de onzekerheid die het met zich meebrengt. We proberen allemaal optimistisch te blijven, maar voelen de moed zinken wanneer we het nieuws zien of weer eens hetzelfde gesprek met iemand voeren, omdat er gewoonweg nog geen licht aan het einde van de tunnel te zien is. Wij als mens willen ons steeds kunnen optrekken aan zekerheden, en hebben dit licht aan het einde van de tunnel nodig om van de dag zelf te kunnen genieten, omdat we steeds blijven leven naar de toekomst toe. Plots bevinden we ons echter in een situatie waar dit heel moeilijk nog lukt, en voelen veel van ons zich verloren.

Het is gemakkelijk om het ‘nu’ te laten passeren, wachtende op een toekomst waar alles beter zal zijn, waar we weer ‘verder kunnen met het leven’, of waar het gras groener is.
Wat we in feite doen, is ons geluk koppelen aan allerlei dingen buiten ons, die we in stand moeten houden om ons goed te kunnen voelen. Je kan dit vergelijken met het bouwen van een huis rondom ons heen. De muren die we opzetten, zijn de voorwaarden voor ons geluk, die we recht moeten houden omdat we anders in onzekerheid en zonder geluk zullen zitten, onbeschermd van de wereld hierbuiten. Mensen bouwen een muur ‘mijn relatie’, een muur ‘geld’, een muur ‘afspreken met vrienden’, een muur ‘op vakantie gaan’, een muur ‘familie’, en noem maar op. We zijn niet anders gewend dan om te zeggen: als ik bij mijn partner kan blijven, dan ben ik gelukkig! Of, als ik zo veel geld verdien, dan ben ik gelukkig! Of, als mijn familie gezond en gelukkig is, dan ben ik gelukkig!
Toch allemaal heel vanzelfsprekende, redelijke voorwaarden, niet?
Op het eerste gezicht wel. Maar wat gebeurt er wanneer we in een situatie als deze terecht komen, en de voorwaarden waar wij ons geluk steeds aan koppelden, de muren die we steeds om ons heen probeerden rechthouden, wegvallen of afbrokkelen? We voelen onzekerheid, krijgen angst voor de toekomst of kijken utopisch terug op het verleden, en we voelen de dingen waar we ons geluk aan koppelen uit onze handen wegglippen, en ons geluk dus ook.

Wat we nu kunnen doen, is ofwel treuren om de muren die zijn omgevallen, en wachten tot we ze weer kunnen rechtzetten. Ofwel erbuiten stappen, en het licht voelen dat deze muren altijd al hebben tegengehouden. Ik weet het, dit klinkt veel te hippy dippy voor velen die dit lezen, maar écht geluk, is onvoorwaardelijk geluk, en onvoorwaardelijk geluk vind je nergens anders dan in het hier en NU. Wat heeft het voor zin om je geluk aan voorwaarden te koppelen, als ze je uiteindelijk ongelukkig maken wanneer ze wegvallen?

Een van mijn favoriete spirituele leraren: Eckhart Tolle, zegt het volgende: ‘Live in the present moment as if you had chosen it.’: Leef in het huidige moment, alsof je er bewust voor gekozen had.
Het zijn niet de omstandigheden zelf die ons verdriet of pijn doen ervaren, maar het verzet ertegen, en het vasthouden aan het verleden of de toekomst. Ons verzetten tegen situaties, doet deze situaties niet veranderen. Het enige dat het verandert, is onze innerlijke toestand. We worden onrustig, voelen ons machteloos, en laten ons hoofd hierdoor hangen en ons geluk hierdoor verdwijnen. Heel concreet kan dit toegepast worden op de situatie van het coronavirus wereldwijd:
Zonder dat we het wisten, hadden wij over de jaren heen een huis rondom ons gebouwd. Voor mij was dit: mijn sociaal leven en vriendinnen, mijn studies, mijn studente job in een koffiebar, mijn familie, mijn uitgaansleven, mijn passie voor reizen, en mijn relatie. Wanneer de omstandigheden begonnen te veranderen, vielen al deze muren, al deze zekerheden en voorwaarden voor mijn geluk, weg. Eerst mijn uitgaansleven, dan mijn studente job, mijn vrienden kunnen zien, mijn lessen en routine op school, mijn geplande reizen, en uiteindelijk ook mijn relatie. Wat een kutsituatie… Ik neem me voor ogen dat heel wat mensen zich in hetzelfde schuitje bevinden, maar dan met andere muren dan de mijnen. Onbeschermd, met hier en daar nog een muur die blijft rechtstaan (voor mij bijvoorbeeld mijn familie), sta je kwetsbaar en bloot, onbeschermd tegen je ongeluk in een grote vlakte van onzekerheid. We hebben niet veel om ons nog aan vast te houden, wat enorm angstaanjagend en fatalistisch kan aanvoelen, omdat we gewend zijn ons gevoel van zekerheid te koppelen aan een vastklampen aan de dingen rondom ons.
Nu besefte ik uiteindelijk dat ik twee opties heb:
Ik kan me hiertegen verzetten, wat de natuurlijke reactie is, en er alles aan doen om deze muren nog in het hoogst mogelijke omhoog te houden, wat zou resulteren in meer frustratie en pijn omdat het niet zou lukken.
Of ik laat volledig los, en omarm het moment alsof ik ervoor gekozen had. Het enige verschil tussen de twee, is een verschil in perceptie op de situatie, en de enige persoon die hier controle over heeft, ben jij.

Volledige, radicale acceptatie en overgave aan het moment, is de enige manier om hiermee om te gaan. Laat Het Los, en vertrouw erop dat dit moment exact is zoals het had moeten zijn. Laat de muren los waar je je steeds achter bleef schuilen, en stop met ze te proberen rechthouden wanneer ze afbrokkelen. Laat het verleden los, laat je constante fixatie en controle over de toekomst los, en laat datgene los dat je verhindert om de beste versie van jezelf te zijn.
Het gaat er niet letterlijk om dat je ALLES moet loslaten, geen toekomstdromen of plannen meer kan hebben, en niet van relaties, bezittingen, geld, … kan genieten. Het gaat erom dat je deze dingen niet als noodzakelijke voorwaarden stelt om je geluk te bepalen, en dat je deze dingen kan loslaten wanneer we in een moment als deze komen en soms niet anders kunnen dan loslaten. Je hebt geen controle over de meeste omstandigheden rondom je, en al zeker niet in deze situatie van het coronavirus. Het enige waar we wél altijd controle over hebben, is onze reactie hierop, en dit is hetgeen waar uiteindelijk ons geluk al dan niet uit zal voortkomen.

Wanneer je niet tevreden bent met een situatie, en deze situatie je ongelukkig maakt, stel jezelf deze vraag: Is er iets binnen mijn macht dat ik kan doen om de situatie aan te pakken, verbeteren, of recht te trekken en zo mijn geluk hier en nu weer te voelen?
Zo ja: doe het,
Zo nee: laat het los!
Het is het vastklampen aan voorwaarden buiten onze macht, het hechten aan en niet willen loslaten, dat ons frustratie en pijn doet voelen. ‘Leef in dit moment alsof je ervoor gekozen had’, en je zal stoppen met tegen de stroom in te zwemmen, en meedrijven op de golven van de zee, erop vertrouwende dat de stroom je zal brengen naar waar je moet zijn.

Ten slotte: ‘This too shall pass’/ ook dit gaat wel weer voorbij. Ondanks de moeilijkheden die deze hele situatie met zich meebrengt, moeten we onthouden dat het ook wel weer voorbijgaat. Alles in het leven is vergankelijk, en alles verandert continu. Wil dit zeggen dat je gewoon moet ‘wachten’ tot het weer voorbij is? Ons weer blijven focussen op de toekomst? Nee… Met deze gedachte in het achterhoofd kunnen we een manier vinden om te leren leven met onzekerheid, volledig en compleet genietende van het hier en nu. Wees dankbaar voor de dingen die je op DIT moment hebt, niet voor dingen die je in de toekomst wel (weer) zal hebben of die je in het verleden had. Het enige moment dat we ooit kennen is het nu, en ondanks we in deze corona situatie heel wat zekerheden kwijt zijn, hebben we nog altijd het NU.
Wacht niet tot deze maanden voorbij zijn, om weer te beginnen leven. Wacht niet tot de voorwaarden van je geluk (weer) komen opdagen. Vind geluk in jezelf, door je steeds te focussen op wat je wél hebt en waar je dankbaar om kan zijn, of wat je in dit moment kan doen of krijgen. Elke dag die je spendeert wachtende op de toekomst, of vastklampend aan het verleden, is een dag niet geleefd. Het leven is te kort om te wachten. Pluk deze dag, en geniet er onvoorwaardelijk van. Het zijn inderdaad bizarre tijden, maar geen tijd als deze zal ons ooit doen beseffen hoe waardevol het NU is en hoe kostbaar onze tijd is.

Live this moment as if you had chosen it: Leef in deze crisis alsof je er bewust voor gekozen had, en ontdek een aspect van jezelf en het leven waar je nooit anders de tijd nog voor zou hebben. En hou steeds in het achterhoofd: this too shall pass.

!! Leestip:
The untethered soul - Michael A. Singer
A New Earth - Eckhart Tolle

Recap of the last incredible months: Living, studying and traveling in South- Africa!

It’s Wednesday the 12^th of June, 6.40am in Doha airport, where I arrived after my first flight out of South Africa, and I have finally decided to take the time to sit down and write about the last months. I was planning on writing something every month, but I got so busy being here that it just didn’t happen. So now that I’m sitting at a breakfast spot in the airport and I have 2 hours before I need to start boarding for my second flight, I’m taking a moment to reflect on the past 5 months of my once in a lifetime experience of living and studying in Stellenbosch, South Africa.

Boring stuff first: Academic life

As it is still ‘studying abroad’, it’s of course necessary to mention the academic part of my experience in Stellenbosch. Because this is both for me as for the person who is reading this the least interesting part (accept for my mom and dad), I'll quickly talk about this first. Studying in Stellenbosch University for me, as for most international students, was very different from studying in my home University. The biggest reason for this was that it has a system of permanent evaluation, which means that in contrary to studying in Leuven, you don’t just get exams at the end of the semester, but you are constantly being evaluated through writing essays, tasks, and tests during the semester. This meant for me that I had a very busy academic year, writing two fifteen-paged papers, one psychology paper, 5 tests during the year, and 4 exams in the end. I have so far passed everything and I’m getting two more marks somewhere this week, so all went pretty well, but I had a lot more work than I would have had in Leuven, which is not ideal if you’re also trying to travel the new country you’re studying in. As it was a challenge, the most important part was that I passed everything, since I couldn’t do second opportunities in South Africa and would have to take an entire course home for the next year, not finishing my bachelor. So this was a good motivation for me to keep working hard and passing everything, which has worked out so far (hoping that I passed the last 2 marks as well).

The courses themselves were all pretty interesting. I took on psychology as a science, social psychology, phenomenology and existentialism, and African philosophy. The psychology lectures were well-structured and clear, while the philosophy courses were (sometimes extremely) chaotic, even more as in Belgium. They were however really interesting subjects and it was especially interesting to have looked at African philosophy and see the effects colonization had on the way (South) African people think. The lectures were obligatory but luckily only 50 minutes long, so it wasn’t a big sacrifice to go to class every time. All by all, the academic side was okay and Stellenbosch is a pretty good University. You just have to learn how to deal with the chaos.

Fun stuff: Student life in Stellenbosch

The fun part of being at a new student city was the new way of student life, and it was pretty awesome. I arrived in Stellenbosch in the summer season, when it was winter in Belgium. Since the academic responsibilities only started later on, the first weeks were crazy. There were house, pool, and day party’s almost every day, since it was so hot that no one wanted to be inside. The good weather really does make people happy and outgoing, I think. Every day I would get up, go running with a beautiful view of the mountains, go to class until 2 pm, and when I got back home everyone would be outside in the pool with a glass of wine or a beer in their hand and loud music playing. The vibe in the house was great. 17 people with all very different personalities in one house, and except for some problems we had with a housemate that moved in later on the semester, we all got along well without any problems. We all came from colder places in Europe (Belgium, Germany, the Netherlands, France, …) and you could just feel the sun making us happy. It was such an amazing feeling to have summer again, since I went to Kenya last summer, where it was then winter, so I hadn’t had proper sunshine in one and a half years. It felt amazing and I could really feel my batteries reloading after the cold winter. Since Stellenbosch is one of the biggest wine areas in South Africa, we also went wine tasting a lot after class or in weekends. The wine estates are beautiful: located in the mountains, green grape yards and a blue sky, and always amazingly designed inside and out. The wines in Stellenbosch are some of the best I’ve ever had, and I can actually say that I’ve learned about which wines I like and don’t like, instead of just buying a random bottle in the supermarket. Stellenbosch is really idyllic with its beautiful wine estates but also the scenery. Apart from wine tasting, going for a hike or walk was one of my favorite things to do there because it was just so incredibly beautiful. After 5 months of being there, I still didn’t get used to the mountains everywhere and my mouth still dropped every time I took an uber somewhere. The beauty of just spontaneously looking around is one of the things I will miss the most when I’m back in Belgium.

After the first month, deadlines started coming and things got busier and busier for me. The craziness of the everyday party’s went away and was replaced by some days studying, and other days taking the time to go wine tasting or to out with the house. Our house (de Jordaan) also became close with two other houses: beach house and bosman house, who were also housing international students. We each in turn, but mostly beach house, threw house parties where we all got together and hung out on Wednesday or in the weekend and I got to meet some great people there. All by all Stellenbosch was the perfect place for me to go on exchange. It even felt like an American College experience sometimes with the house parties, the long lanes with the high trees, and the huge rugby stadium where the whole university went to watch the games of the Stellenbosch rugby team.

However, I have to conclude this part with a contradictory effect of this perfect experience of the Stellenbosch life. Stellenbosch is a very rich, perfect bubble in a country that’s not doing all too well. One of the first things I was taught when I got there was that Stellenbosch is not South Africa, and this is absolutely correct. Stellenbosch is a very white, rich student city where students live the most amazing, fun life, but the people that serve them are still living in Townships right outside of Stellenbosch. If you eat in a restaurant or drink in a wine estate, the guests are always white people and the people working are black. For students, this also means that black women clean their rooms and houses, and when you walk on the street there are only black men working on it. This made me really uncomfortable a lot of the time and I felt pretty guilty, comparing the way I was living with the way the native South African people live. You can see that injustice is being done towards them because of the effects of colonization and apartheid that are still present and that’s why it’s important to realize that the beautiful picture of Stellenbosch isn’t so perfect as it seems, even fake. I felt that it was important to note this while writing about Stellenbosch because it simply is the harsh truth and I couldn’t just ignore it, neither while staying there nor while writing about it.

Having this said, studying in Stellenbosch was a very meaningful, unique and fun experience that I really recommend to those that ever want to do it.

Traveling around + visits

The last major part of my experience abroad for the last months was the fact that I was able to see some amazing places outside of Stellenbosch as well. Most of this happened when my parents and boyfriend visited. Faust came in February and April, and my parents in March. When Faust came, I went to Cape town properly for the first time. I had been there for an activity or two with Isos, the international student organization of Stellenbosch, but I had never actually been there for a whole weekend to see everything. Cape Town is absolutely amazing and one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been. You have beaches, mountains, city life, thrift shops, parks, markets, … and everywhere you look it's gorgeous. Faust and I climbed up Table Mountain the first weekend there to have a view over the whole of Cape Town and it was incredible. We hiked the wrong (advanced) hiking trail which meant that it took a long time, sweat and tears to get up, but it was absolutely worth it. Walking down however was not an option anymore so we had to take the cable cart for that. Some other favorite things to do in Cape Town is watching the sunset on signal hill, the lions head hike, going for a walk at Camps Bay, having dinner at the Waterfront, and going to the oranjezicht market for fresh foods and nice souvenirs. Also the city life is pretty great for going out at night, you just have to be safe and stay in a group. Some other things Faust and I did was going to Ultra festival and into the wild festival, which was amazing since I had never actually gone to a proper festival before. We also went to some new wine estates, went hiking, and surfing a few times. I have actually learned how to surf here in South Africa (can just stand up though nothing crazy), and I love it! Another fun thing we did was go to boulders beach, a beach where you can chill with penguins: funny and cool as hell but it smells like bird poop though. It was really nice to have him here and we did a lot of fun stuff. He also got to know the people of my house and some friends of mine that I made, and we went out a few times as well.

My parents came in March and because I had a free week from school then, I got to travel a bit more and further with them then I could do on my own or with Faust. My parents and I first went to Stellenbosch and then Cape Town, where I showed them around the places I loved the most (as I mentioned above). They were really impressed by everything and I felt pretty proud showing them everything that I had discovered myself over the last months. After Cape Town, we rented a car and did the garden route. The garden route is a route across the coast where we stopped at beautiful spots to go hiking, walking, surfing or just lay at the beach enjoy the view. When we reached port Elizabeth, the end of the garden route, we took a flight back to Cape Town, stayed there for another night, and then my parents flew back home and I went back to Stellenbosch. It was so nice to have them there and have some quality time with them, since it had been a long time since I joined them on a holiday. My sister sadly couldn’t join because she had high school but I can’t wait to tell her all about it and take her back myself one day.

Goodbye South Africa

For my last weekend, I went to Cape Town to see all my favorite places one more time. The people from Stellenbosch also came and we all had one last crazy night out together. Then I went back to Stellenbosch for my last night, said goodbye to everyone, and packed up my bags. It was sad to say goodbye but I’m also excited to go home again. When you’re away for 5 months, no matter how amazing the country is, I still always miss home like missing a part of me and it’s time to see my friends and family again.

For my last week though, I’m staying in Marrakech and closing up my semester abroad here. I’ve always wanted to go, and it seemed like a good choice because it’s on my way back to Belgium from South Africa. I am going alone, which will be exciting since it’s my first time actually traveling on my own (I always went volunteering or studying so I never actually travelled alone before). I’m really happy about it and about going back home after.

To finish up, I want to say thank you to everyone who made this last semester the experience that it was. Each of you are all unique, crazy individuals who have a special place in my heart and memory, and I hope to see you all again someday in one crazy way or another (or Oktoberfest of course). I hope all of you go in great directions to become the people you want to be, and I wish you all the best.

Baie dankie.

Love, Robin.

first 2 weeks in Stellenbosch (AMAZING)

Hello everyone!

I've been in Stellenbosch for two weeks now and I can honestly say that it is one of the most cosy, warm, beautiful and happy places I've ever been. The atmosphere is very comparable to Leuven: a small but fun student city with lots of coffeeshops, good food, and party's. The weather and prices however are much better and I love the nightlife a lot more because it's more about poolparty's and houseparty's, what makes you interact with different people more and actually gives you the chance to talk to people in stead of screaming at them because of the noise and over crowdedness you get in bars. So first impression and experience: the perfect place for a semester abroad.

So far everything has been perfect. The people, the weather, the food, the activities, the festivals, the campus, the parties, ... The best part of this experience so far however is the house I am in. We're with fifteen people in a beautiful, big house with a nice pool and a nice terras. The people are amazing. There are 7 girls and 8 guys, of which a lot are german but also some South-African, Dutch, Swiss, French and one other Belgian girl. From the moment I arrived up until now the atmosphere has been amazing and everyone is fun and crazy enough to make this house on big party everyday. It has only been 2 weeks but we really already feel like a family and I am soooo thankful that I applied for this house (and got it). We've also had some crazy hot days so then the pool comes in handy as well.

The town and the university itself feel like a mixture between high school musical, American Pie, and sometimes even Geordie shore. Because of the heat, everyone is in summer clothes all the time which makes it feel like it's summer vacation for me since the only time I see people dressed like that is on vacation or on the rare occasions in Belgium when it actually stops raining and the sun comes out. There have also been parties everyday and when you're in a house with so many party people, it's hard to say no... Sometimes I come home from a class, everyone is drinking a beer at the pool, and suddenly someone shows up with the news that there is a big poolparty around the corner. So yes well, when you hear news like that, plans suddenly change and before you know it, you're at a party again meeting so many nice and fun people.
So some of you (yes mom and dad especially you) are probably making the remark: "aren't you supposed to be studying this semester? finishing your bachelor thesis and all that?" I just figured that now that the assignments and important classes haven't started yet, I'd make the most out of it while I still can. I've passed all my exams this year so far and I'm planning on keeping it that way so don't worry.

For some specific highlights that I want to share (I don't want to bore you with every detail since too many things have happened to share everything + we're having a BBQ in a few minutes ) I will give you my top 3:
First of all, I think the welcoming diner that the Matie buddy's (the local students that take care of the international students) threw for us was one of the best evenings so far. Since the people from my house are all international and on exchange, we all went and had good food, nice wine, and even got taught how to play the Djembe. The evening turned into a big party where I got to meet so many of the international and local students and I got to dance my ass of (literally, they taught me how to twerk). Afterwards, we all went to Bohemia, a nice local bar where most people go to on a night out, and after that we went home to have a little poolparty at our house (where I unfortunately fell asleep very fast) but it was just a perfect evening.
The second highlight for me was the first trip we took to Capetown. It was again an event thrown by the Matie buddy's, where they took us to some of the best places in Capetown. First we went to the University of Capetown, where we did a hike that had the most amazing view, then we went to the beach where everyone could walk around, have some nice food and drinks, and get a bit of vitamin Sea (oh yaiss I just wrote that), and finally my friends and I went to a nice festival on the beach not far from there. The setting was just perfect. Good music, amazing people, dancing with a sunset, cheap and good food, ... It felt like I was in a movie and once again I can't explain how grateful I am to have had this experience.
Finally I think one of the best moments was the Sunday after that festival, when everyone was just getting some rest after the first week. We all woke up, watched movies the whole day, relaxed by the pool and did absolutely nothing. The reason why this day was such a highlight for me was because it was the first day that I really felt like I was at home and it was just perfect because it was so simple.

For some highlights in the future, we're having our first house-braai today (A bbq, which people in South-Africa do all the time). I am also going wine tasting for the whole day tomorrow with one of the guys from our house, which I am really excited about because I am in one of the best wine areas in the whole world and I am again happy to meet a lot of new people again. Last but not least, my boyfriend is coming to visit me in 2 weeks and I am of course really excited to show him all the amazing places I've already been. We're also going to a festival again in Capetown when he's here so for now, my life really does feel like a modern fairly tale.

For the rest, every day is a new adventure so I can't exactly tell you what else I will be doing (except for studying for sure mom) Talk to you next time!

xxx Robin.

Going to South-Africa for five months!

Ever since I was little, I've been fascinated with the world and its great diversity and beauty. It sounds cliché to say that I feel like I was born to travel, since wanderlust has become a common, mostly western privilege that 90% of the people claims to have (crf: the huge amount of people putting stuff like "worldtraveler" or "travel is my passion" in their bio on Instagram). However, I'm proud to be one of those many many people who call themselves travelers, and that's why I'm here again. Another traveler, writing another blogpost on another amazing adventure. This time: 5 months of studying and traveling in South-Africa.

At this moment, I'm on my first flight from Belgium to Madrid. After this I'm flying to Johannesburg, and finally I'm flying to Capetown, where someone from my University will come pick me up to go to Stellenbosch. So basically, my journey hasn't even started yet and I'm already writing about it (as real travelers do I suppose). Listening to one of my favorite songs: Lonely Bed by Albert Cummings, and drinking my favorite beer (because what else is there to do on a plane but to get a little drunk), I've started reflecting on the process that got me motivated and enthousiastic to go to South Africa. I've wanted to go to Stellenbosch University since my first year of studying in Leuven. It's just the most amazing setting of a University I've ever seen, the program sounded amazing, and the diversity of people with all kinds of nationalities is what I've been wanting to experience my whole life, especially after meeting so many amazing people when I traveled to Bali and Kenia.
As a result, when I got the chance to apply, I was the verry first todoso and I got my chance to finally go.
It will be summer when I arrive: 35 degrees Celcius and sun, and I can't put in to words how much I am craving for some warm weather and sunshine. Last summer the weather in Belgium was amazing but since I was in Kenia all summer and it was winter there, I haven't been able to enjoy some good summer weather since I went to Bali the year before.

Except for the weather, the things I'm looking forward to the most is the diversity of people, the gorgeous scenery, experiencing University life in a different country with a different language, and last but not least: the wine tasting (no mom, no dad, I'm not an alcoholic). Stellenbosch is known for its vineyards and amazing wine tasting opportunities so I'm definitely going to take advantage of that. Plus the scenery of the vineyards is just amazing!
I'm a little nervous for my arrival since I don't really have a clue what's going to happen when I arrive. I'm not the most organized and well-prepared person in the world as some of you may know, and although I've really done my best, it's still going to be pretty chaotic and a bit stressful in the beginning. The weather however will totally make up for it and I know for sure that after a week I'll be settled down and ready to fully relax and enjoy my amazing experience of studying in South-Africa, meeting so many new people, doing new things and getting a tan ?.

I don't want to make this post too long since I'm probably writing another one pretty soon with my first impressions and experiences of South-Africa. I just thought I'd write a quick introduction on where I am and what I'm doing for the next five months for those of you that are interested. You by the way now have reached the end of my post so congrats and thank you for caring ?.

I have to get of the plane soon so this is where I'm ending my first post on South-Africa (lol I'm not even there yet).
See you in my next post and wish me good luck!

Xx Robin.

Last post on Kenya: Medical camp and final updates

Karibu!

My last week here in Kenya has just started. It’s now Tuesday and I am flying back to Belgium on Friday morning. I can’t think about saying goodbye yet because it’s just too hard and I want to fully live these last days I have here without having to think about leaving. So here it is, my last blog post on Kenya, another country that took my heart and changed me as a person.

As I said in my last post, I’ve been going to Nakuru Hills (the school for special need kids) every morning and everything went great there. They all remembered me and where happy to see me again, even though a lot of them struggle with their memories. One of the teachers there, Sharon, also invited me into her home for the second time and it was nice to spend an evening with her and her family, who all made me feel so welcome.
Also, a good friend of mine from the slums had been struggling at home. His dad left when he was young and his mom is an alcoholic. Since he’s the only one in the house who is working (his brothers and sisters are still in school), he needs to work very hard to provide for all of them. When Lucy, the headmistress from the special school, told me that she needed someone to work in the garden, I arranged a meeting for his mom, and Lucy decided to give her a chance. yesterday was her first day and she has been doing really great, which makes me happy. I met her a couple of times now and she’s such a nice woman, just struggling and taking alcohol as an easy solution like a lot of the people here do. Most of them have very low self esteem and find it really hard to get a job, but sometimes all they need is a little push in the back to make them feel like they are worth something. Now she will be working there five days a week, making some money for her family and keeping busy so she doesn’t drink so much.

After going to the school in the morning, most of my afternoons I go to the slums. On Wednesday and Thursday, I always go with An (my hostmom) to teach classes to the young women there. We teach them an exercise class on Wednesday and give them lessons about topics they request like health, family planning, and other themes on Thursday. The moments I spend with the women have been some of my favourite moments here in Kenia.
The first week, I taught them general muscle training exercises and cardio on Wednesday. I had bought a cheap music box for it and it was so much fun running, exercising and dancing with all 30 of them. They are all girls between age 18 and 25, and most of them are married and have babies. It’s weird for me to realize that these women are of my age, have similar interests, and yet are living completely different lives. They also seem so much more mature, having to take care of their babies and dealing with struggles I will never even have to think about. An and I have started looking for sponsors for these girls, so that they can go back to school, learn a profession and start their own businesses. This way they can become independent from their husbands and start earning money for themselves as well.

On Thursday I taught them about health in general: how to eat well, exercise, keep their sexual health, mental health and medical health. This is something they really requested because most of them haven’t seen a doctor since they where born. They also have never been to a gynecologist and after explaining to them how important it is to get checked up every now and then, they told me it was simply too expensive for them to go. Health is a real struggle for the people in the slums. There are so many diseases and they don’t have easy access to medicine either. Also to eat healthy can be difficult, since healthy foods are often the most expensive ones… So after teaching this class to them, it became once again obvious for me how important it was to do a medical camp for them and to try and get a gynecologist there as well.
After the class, we all went to see Linda, one of the women, at her home. She had been sick with malaria and TBC for three weeks and was feeling too sick to come to the classes. An had asked the women to each contribute 40 shillings (30 cents), so Linda could buy food and some medicine. To them, 40 shillings is a lot of money and not something they can easily miss. So when we got to a total amount of 1200 shillings, it made me so happy and proud of them. Linda was so surprised that she started crying, and we spent the afternoon praying with her and singing songs. That day for me, was a day I will never forget. It warms my heart to see that those who have nothing, are just so willing to give and it’s beautiful to see how these women stick up for each other in times of need. They’ve also grown a lot as a group. An told me that a couple of years back, they had no discipline, where fighting all the time and there was a lot of prostitution too. Now, since Anthony and An have been working with them, they all changed so much in a good way and have become a big family that looks after each other.

The second week, we did a team building activity on Wednesday: we went to climb the Nakuru crater! I took them for the hike in the morning, and we arrived at the top around lunchtime. We had so much fun and I got to talk to them more since I wasn’t standing in front of the classroom or drilling them on the field. Some of them where telling me that they want to go back to school and get their degree, some of them told me about the places they would like to see one day, and others talked about their kids and husbands. When reaching the top, everyone was taking pictures and joking around, and it made me so incredibly happy being there with them.
On Thursday I also taught them some important life lessons on how to achieve their goals. I told them that to make something of their life, they must think big. If they keep thinking small, big things can never happen. A lot of them have settled with the life they have there in the slums and can’t imagine ever getting out of there. This makes them set their mind to just accepting that things will never change, in stead of thinking big and trying to actually make a change for themselves. If they don’t think about turning their lives around because they feel as if it’s already impossible, they will never be able to change anything. I talked to them about this for a long time to really open their eyes on this. Changing your life starts by changing your mind.

Finally, the last (and biggest) thing I was able to do here, was to organize the medical camp. This took place last Saturday, at the social Hall, located at the slums itself. Anthony spent his entire week planning and meeting with people from the government to get some things sponsored by them as well. I had set aside 600 euros for this myself, but the government also contributed so we could give the people as many different medical services as possible. Eventually, we where able to get HIV-testing, cancer screening, medical check up for kids, gynecologists and family planners, general doctors and pharmacy, where people could also get the medicines and vaccinations they needed. On Friday, the boys of the football team helped me a lot by cleaning the social hall, which was an absolute mess, and preparing the field around the hall so that the medical tents could be set u there as well. The boys where just joking around non-stop and It ended up being a really nice day.
The medical camp itself was a big success. Most of the people from the slum came and got checked up, and I had some time to talk to them as well. I feel so happy that I was able to do this because we felt like this was something that they really needed, which also turned out to be a fun social event too.

For my last days here, I just want to relax a bit, spend some time with my host family, teach the women on Wednesday and Thursday, go see the boys play football one more time, and most importantly: celebrate Maxwell’s birthday! We will have a big party for him at the football field on Wednesday with all the people from the slums, which also gives me the chance to say goodbye to everyone and thank them for the time I had with them. I don’t think I will ever be able to put into words how much I will miss them, but it will definitely be the perfect ending to the most perfect adventure. And though I don't know for sure when I will be able to come back, I DO know that I will.

So Asante Sana Kenya, one more time, for everything I got to experience here.
I will see you again.

Robin

Back in Kenya! Plans for the next weeks + opinion on volunteering in general

Jambo!

I got back home from Kenya on the fifth of august and the goodbyes I had to make where just too many: The teachers and students from the special needs school, the young women of the slums we started teaching, the boys from the football team that have become so special to me and I am proud to call my friends, and my most amazing host family: Anthony, An, Joy, Abby and little Maxwell, that have made me feel like a real part of their family. I couldn't imagine not living and working there, and as much as I was missing my own family at home, I had to leave Nakuru with pain in my heart. That’s why, the day after I got back, I called my host family and told them I was coming back in September. They asked me before I went back home if I could come back soon because we still had so much work to do with the community in the slum, so when I told them I was coming back, I was happy to hear that they were already excited to have me again. So I booked my ticket, kept on fundraising, and here I am: sitting in my favorite spot on the couch, with Maxwell on my lap and Joy and Abby by my side.

Before I start talking about the things we have planned for the next weeks, I would like to talk about volunteering in general for a second. I’ve noticed that there is a lot of conversation going on about it, specifically on the question if it’s a good thing or a bad thing to do. I have to say I’ve experienced both sides. I’ve experienced good volunteering and bad volunteering and I realize that there is in fact a really big problem with volunteering agencies and their intentions. When I went to Bali last year, they overcharged me big time and I could see that my money was definitely not going to the right places. The locals working for the organization were way underpaid, the schools had no equipment, the construction projects had no materials, and as much as I enjoyed the trip, I did almost nothing useful. I was also dealing with the same problem when I first got to Kenya. I booked with IVHQ, a world-wide volunteering organization that is known for being the cheapest one in the world. I knew the issue with volunteering organizations before I came to Kenya, but being only nineteen years old, I found it too risky to just go to a local project, and so decided that because this organization was so cheap, it had to be a fair one. The most important difference between my volunteering in Bali, and in Kenya, was that I was staying in a volunteering house in Bali, and in a host family in Kenya. In Kenya I was incredibly lucky and got to experience real volunteering because of the host family I got: a pastor and his wife that are also community workers in Nakuru and working with the community in the slum. That’s why after the first two days already, I stepped away from the project IVHQ gave me (a beautiful, modern and over employed orphanage that needed no help at all), and decided to join my host dad in helping the people in the slums and going to the special needs school, where the conditions where not good at all and there was a lack of staff. It was the best decision I could have made and to this very day the only thing I am IVHQ so incredibly grateful for is placing me in Anthony’s family. Anthony started the projects in the slums completely by himself after growing up in a slum and being able to get out of there to build a good life on his own. He is a big inspiration for me and I know with all my heart that every intention he has is good. He also knew that the special needs school (a school for disabled kids) needed a lot of help, being a community worker and having visited the school himself multiple times. That’s why he sent me there in the mornings, and took me with him to the slums in the afternoon. The weeks after, Anthony tried to talk to NVS, the local Kenyan organization IVHQ is working with, on getting the projects he was doing in the slums and the special school as official projects of NVS in stead of the orphanage where clearly no help is needed. NVS refused and stopped sending volunteers to Anthony and An, which is bad because they are renting a big apartment to be able to place the volunteers. When the income they get from volunteers stops, they are simply losing money. Anthony also told me some stories of when he was still working closer with them and it showed me that volunteering organizations’ intentions are far from as good as they claim to be. It hurts my heart to see how these organizations (maybe I should say companies) take advantage of the good will volunteers have and the tons of money they give, that just goes right to their own account in stead of to the communities the volunteers think they give it to. There was a video that went viral on social media of a woman that explains this problem. If you looked at the comments, they were about as controversial as they could get. Some, who clearly never volunteered in their life, supported the attack she made on volunteering 100% and added some extra bad comments. Others, volunteers that where clearly offended by this video because they probably put in a lot of effort and money in their work, attacked her attack and stayed in denial.

For me, I am in the middle. It’s wrong to attack people who are doing volunteering work nota bene because it’s not their fault that these organizations are messing with them and taking advantage of their intentions. Volunteering is a beautiful thing and to just cut it off and stop doing it on a global level, would give much bigger problems. However, volunteering with these organizations/companies is not a good thing either, and that’s what the woman in the video was absolutely right about. If you volunteer, find local projects that don’t charge you excessive amounts of money, look up projects that people you know started, and MOST IMPORTANT: spend the money you raised for this purpose yourself. Buy the people food, clothes, water, … and give it to them yourself. Don’t give money to the people working for the organization because 90% of the time they will use it for the wrong purposes. Money can do weird things to people, no matter how reliable they seem.
The other big problem I have with people volunteering is that too many people do it to build a special, caregiving bond with the kids they are working with. They want to make the experience unforgettable by bonding with the kids as much as they can, which can make children get attached and then get hurt when you leave. You go back to your Westernized privileged life and at some point ‘forget’ about them because you have so many other things going on. They, however, remember you, and they remember how you left them after having such a strong bond with them, giving them serious attachment issues in the future. This part specifically has nothing to do with big organization, but with the people volunteering themselves. Volunteering is about being selfless and doing the things that need to be done such as fundraising, sponsoring, buying food and water and spending your time on building and assisting local staff with practical tasks so that they have more time to contact with their orphans/students/… themselves. That’s why for me personally, I’ve learned that working with adolescents and adults is far more productive that working with kids. They can communicate their needs, talk to you about their struggles and make you understand how you can help them financially.
There is so much help needed in this world. For people to stop volunteering at all would not be the answer, but make the problem worse. However, people should be more skeptical about where they go and practical in what the really need to do to make a difference.

For what I will do these next three weeks, I’ll keep it short since I’ve already written a lot on this last issue.

• I am completing the making of the special needs equipment such as special spoons, adaptations for pencils, and teaching them how to use straws to drink so that they can drink without help and reduce their drooling.
• I was able to raise enough money to provide a complete medical camp for the slums (140 families being provided with medication, medical check-up, injections, HIV tests, …), so I will be arranging this together with Anthony, my host dad, before I have to go back. We are meeting with the minister of health of Nakuru to get refunds and sponsoring for this too, so I hope to get all of this done in these next three weeks.
• Together with An, my host mom, I am continuing to teach the young women in the slums (age 16-25) about sexual health, exercise, coping with stress and medical health every Wednesday and Thursday. I was also able to buy all 40 of them work-out pants for their weekly exercise lesson on Wednesday, which helps them with better physique and it gives them team spirit.
• Finally: the boys from the football team (age 16-25). I have been with them since the beginning of my experience in Kenya and I am just so proud to call them my friends. I will still be seeing them every day, watching their trainings, supporting them, providing them water after their games and helping Anthony to get them sponsorships to get them a better job and life so that they can leave the slums one day. I was also able to collect a lot of football clothes so that they have better clothes to train with.

So that’s it! In a nutshell. I am so incredibly happy to be back and grateful to see my family again and have them make me feel so welcome. I also really want to thank everyone who already sponsored the projects here in Nakuru. I was already able to do so much because of your contributions and I couldn’t be more grateful!

See you in my next post!

Asante Sana, Kenya

I have been in Kenya for four weeks now and this is the second time I’ve had the time to write a story. So much has happened in the last month and every day I love this country and its people even more, which makes it hard to realize that I only have one more week left. This trip has had major ups and downs for me and it hasn’t always been easy, but I have never felt more grateful for everything that is going on in my life. I am grateful for the contributions I’ve been able to make, I am grateful for the new experiences I’ve had that made me realize how lucky I am with the life I've got, but most of all I am sooooooo grateful for the people I’ve met here. There isn’t one single person I've met that has made this trip less worthy. The people are what I will remember most from this country and I hope with all my heart that they eventually all get the life that they deserve.

After the first two weeks, I went on a safari with the volunteers that I met at orientation. It was amazing to see everyone again and hear all about their experiences with their projects and their host families. The thing a lot of volunteers where struggling with was the ‘Mzungu treatment’ they got. Mzungu means ‘white person’, and it means that Kenyan people see money when they see us. Walking down the streets can be difficult because people will ask you for money everywhere you go. The people from some projects had also taken advantage of that and kept asking the volunteers to buy stuff for them. Apart from that, everyone was doing pretty good. We were all really happy to see each other and excited for the safari!
The safari took place in the Maasai Mara, which is THE picture you have in your head when you think of the amazing African wildlife scenery. I can go on and on about all the things we saw there but pictures speak louder than words in this situation so all I can really say is that it was one of the most beautiful and magnificent things I've ever seen. So many animals came so close and we were able to see the start of the migration, which was incredible. After the safari tour everyone had some beers, listened to music, and saw the football final of Croatia vs. France, which unfortunately France won. It was a perfect break from the somewhat hard reality everyone was facing, but happy to be a part of, and everyone went back to their homestay well rested and satisfied.

For the next three weeks I would be working at the special needs school in Nakuru in the morning and going to the slums for the football practice in the afternoon. The three weeks have now passed and everyday got better and better for me. The beginning in the special needs school was hard because I had never worked with special need kids before and now there where suddenly 200 kids peeing their pants, drooling all over themselves and making a lot of noise. The first day was really overwhelming and I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to continue there, yet I decided to make the best out of it and everyday I tried to interact more with the kids. This worked really well and after one week I had gotten used to them. Of the 200 kids, there was a huge variety of disabilities. The worst being the physically and mentally disabled that couldn’t move nor speak and are living like plants, and the best being kids with learning disabilities that could even speak English. They all lived together in two big dorms, one for boys and one for girls. The conditions where okay compared with other places in Kenya, but still far from what they should be. As I said, the kids would just pee on themselves and not get changed for a long time, which made flies inevitable and overflowing. Also, the classes didn’t have a lot of teaching materials, so the kids would do nothing to improve themselves and basically just sit in the class and do nothing all day. I tried to do as much as I could to interact with the kids, teach them how to drink with straws to reduce the drooling, and help out here and there where help was needed. I was also able to buy 25 new uniforms for the kids that where needy, which I am so happy about, and one of the American volunteers that joined us later on donated two new wheelchairs, who were really needed at the center as well.
Today was my last day at the center because the school is closing for the holidays. I went down there at 6 in the morning because a lot of them where leaving early and I wanted to say goodbye to everyone. I shed some happy tears, got to meet a lot of the parents, and went back home with the happy feeling that I had done something good. They all touched my heart.

For the last week that I am here, I will be focusing on the projects in the slums. The boys of the football team are training everyday and are getting so much better. I watch them everyday and the motivation they have is amazing. They know football can get them far and they work hard for that opportunity. Tomorrow we will go to the slums to do a healthcare project to teach the girls there about hygiene and how to look after themselves when it comes to sex and prostitution. I also finished my sponsor video, which I hope will move people to donate money to the slums or even sponsor a child to go to boarding school. I am so happy that I got to do all the things I wanted to do before I leave back to my 'privileged Western life'. I feel like I was able to accomplish some bigger goals that I had set for myself here and I am really proud of that. This has been such an amazing experience, with all the ups and downs that came with it, and I am genuinely happy that I was able to be a part of this community. I will do everything in my power to make this last week unforgettable and hope to continue the good work when I go home.

Asante sana Kenya.

Beautiful, Shocking and Mind blowing: Kenya

My second volunteering trip abroad started a week ago and since I’ve been getting lots of questions on how things are going and I already have a lot to tell, I decided to start writing my first blog on the beautiful, mindblowing but shocking country that is Kenya.

After a two-hour train ride, an eight-hour flight and a one-hour car ride, I arrived at my temporary host family for the next 2 days. We were with 14 volunteers in total and we got to relax after the long trip, taste the first Kenyan foods (which later I would get to know are pretty much the only Kenyan foods), and enjoy the amazing scenery just outside of the capitol city: Nairobi. Since it’s now winter here, the weather is clouded and chilly but that’s good, since walking around in shorts or tops is not exactly the thing to do here. The first days with the other volunteers were perfect to adjust to the new country I would be living in for the next six weeks.

After we got our orientation on the program, the volunteers were divided and sent to their homestays for the next weeks. Liberty, a girl from England that was staying for four weeks, and I got sent to a project in Nakuru. Since we where told that we were staying in Nairobi, we were a bit surprised/concerned with our placement because it is a three-hour drive away from Nairobi, where the office of our organisation is set, so I told myself that would just have to be a part of the adventure. After a long but magnificent drive through the scenery of Kenya, we arrived at our host family where I would be spending my next six weeks. I was shockingly surprised in the most positive way possible. I had prepared myself on a small room with a mattress on the floor and a cold-water bucket-shower with barely electricity but ended up in a beautiful apartment with the most amazing view on Lake Nakuru and a HOT shower! My host dad, pastor Anthony, his wife An who is also a pastor, and their three beautiful kids: Joy, Abby and Maxwell, would be my family for the next six weeks and I couldn’t be more happy with the placement I got. Also staying here where three Chinese girls who had been volunteering here for the last 4 weeks and are leaving next week. We all got to know each other, ate dinner, and talked about our projects. Liberty and I where placed in an orphanage behind the corner where our organisation had told us there was a big need of volunteers. However, the pastor told us that the centre is well-organised with a lot of staff and plenty of luxury. When we went there the next day, that statement was absolutely confirmed. There where about 14 small kids with 7 people of staff who where well-qualified so we ended up just playing a bit with the kids and cleaning stuff that was already clean. When we got home, the pastor told us we could help him out with several other projects that where really in need of help instead. Without hesitation I said yes, and the next day he would take us to the first project in the slums.

I have to say, I’ve seen a lot of videos of slums and other terrible conditions over the years while researching volunteering projects, but when you actually get there yourself, it’s even more shocking then you could ever imagine on the videos you see. It’s simply incomparable.
The first thing you notice when driving towards the slums is the enormous amount of trash. The second thing you notice is the unbearable smell when you get out of the car. Hundreds of flies surround you within one meter and everywhere you look there is trash. People are searching the newly dumped trash together with pigs, cows, goats and billions of flies and the children try to find food. Normally the community doesn’t want people to come there to watch them as if they are a tourist attraction but because we came with the pastor who helps them a lot, they knew we where volunteers helping them and so it was okay.
Pastor Anthony just recently started 2 projects: a football team for the youth and a sponsorship to send children and young boys and girls to boarding school. The football team’s biggest focus is to keep the young boys out of trouble (alcohol and drugs) and give them hope to grow as a team and maybe get sponsored. A lot of the boys are really talented and can get higher in life by playing football. The goal of the sponsorship is to get the kids to boarding school so that they can get out of the slums and are able to get education, food, clothes, and a better place to live.
The first day I went to the slums we where there to get the profiles and stories of the young boys and girls so that we could start a website where people can sponsor them, donate money to the slums and other projects, and volunteer themselves.
The look and smell of the slums was already a lot to take, but when we were interviewing the kids I bursted into tears. Two of the girls that we interviewed got raped and one of them got infected with HIV. They are 11 and 13 years old. Another girl had lost her parents and had to work for her aunt day and night in exchange for a place to live. The other kids also had their own stories. Most of them where living with their single mom and brothers and sisters and in some cases the mom was an alcohol addict who can’t support her own kids because the little money she gets goes to buying alcohol. There are 140 families living in the slums of Nakuru and most of them are living in conditions as I just described. (Young) girls are the ones struggling the most. They get raped, sell themselves as prostitutes in return for 50 shillings (40 cents) to buy food, often get pregnant when they are still children themselves and are left taking care of younger siblings when the parents die or leave.
After the interviews I went to the little school there to hand out pencils, sharpeners, and bubble blowers that I bought for them and again I was left with tears in my eyes watching them play euphorically with so little. As I watched them, careless and happy and ignorant of how inhumane their situation is, I realised that I take things too much for granted. Things as a shower, a hot meal, a glass of water, and everything else that I have. We don’t choose for the life we get, but we can choose the way we deal with it. For them that means making the most of almost nothing, and for us it should mean being grateful, realising that what we have is not to be taken for granted, and giving and sharing as much as we can.

After that first day in the slums, I decided to cancel the project that the organisation gave us so I can spend my time these next weeks helping out in the slums to collect as much money as I can to ship the kids to boarding school, set up a medical camp with Anthony and organize a sexual orientation day for the girls where we can get a doctor to teach them about hygiene, how to get free access to the pill, and take care of themselves. I will also be working in a special needs center for kids and adults with mental disabilities. There is so much I want to do and suddenly 6 weeks feels way too short, but I am so grateful that I ended up with Anthony and An in their lovely home and that I get to meet and help so many amazing people.